In-somnia, now how do I get out?

16 07 2010


Being one of the definitional kind my current waking state had to find out what somnia was and why I have the misfortune of being involved in it these last few weeks.

It is indeed a term, more specifically

-somnia, suffix meaning “(condition of or like) sleep”: asomnia, hyposomnia, hypersomnia.

As per The Free Dictionary reference to Mosby’s Medical Dictionary, 8th edition. © 2009, Elsevier.

Insomnia itself is the inability to obtain sufficient sleep as is the case with me. It started with late night TV and staying up watching endless Bravo programming & most recently (i.e. 4:30am this morning) watching infomercials on how to lose those stubborn pounds and get perfect skin. I was amazingly convinced by both.

Unlike great writers I don’t get my best ideas during waves of insomnia, or is it that great insomnia makes writers waive the best ideas???? Whichever. Point is, I’m tormented. Sleep, why hast thou forsaken me?

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Modify and Exemplify

9 07 2010

My mental imagery tends to twist and spin in loops around thoughts and ideas sorta like the scribbles you make on note paper when you’re in a  boring lecture or on the phone not really listening to the person on the other end.
I mostly scribble my name in multiple signatory ways. Swooping  , austere , well scripted maiden name, whooshing wedded name.  Seeing my name printed over and over again has an oddly calming effect on me. It feels like a wave of frustration that passes through my fingertips with a tingling sensation, the negative energy being released into ink on paper. I’ve done this since I was 11 and it never loses its effect. I had terrible handwriting as a child that was occasionally called out on by disapproving teachers and made ridicule of by peers. Eventually I found a way to control the urge to just slap a glob of felt tipped hieroglyphics down. I became in tune with the page focusing on the ruled lines and narrowed my vision ever so tightly to perfectly align each letter to the next.

I also had to re-learn not to use the middle finger of my writing hand as a base to rest the pen, which formed an awful rounded hard spot that was quite unattractive to see whenever I flipped someone off.

I have taken great pride in my writing since I mastered hand over mind and have found that the same diligence used to manipulate the tendency of poor scribing can help to focus my wandering thoughts. As I develop yet another idea out the wazoo to counter my daily ennui I have to fight the scribbles of the brain to bring a cohesive thought to the fore. I write out my objectives on paper, digital documents don’t exist unless I boot up a laptop, and leave them in the same place everyday. A jeering reminder that I said I would set out to do what already exists in my parallel universe of success. It helps that I believe this since utter despair no longer seems an option; defeatist attitude checked at the door.

I’ve given myself a deadline for this amazing feat of inspired drive, an idea mainly motivated by the progressive depletion of modern-day beans, but mostly for the need to assuage the discomfort of a harried mind that I am indeed a bum of magnanimous proportions.

Deadline date – August 31, 2010. Think I can make it?

Caltech Scientists Test Air Flow Over the 2010 World Cup Soccer Ball – Caltech

3 07 2010

Caltech Scientists Test Air Flow Over the 2010 World Cup Soccer Ball – Caltech.

My contribution in pushing the debate 🙂 Why not? It’s not like I’ve posted anything else recently.

Watch the video testing air flow here:

World Cup (WH0000oooooo……)

15 06 2010

World Cup Fever

Andy Capp by Reg Smythe from

What it’s like trying to be a good world cup wife(y)

(I’m actually on the wagon for World Cup, mind you. I learn my terminology every four years. Got ma excel scoresheet and everything! Credit to R. Musadya it can be downloaded here. Go [Round 64 winner here]!!)

Quantum Leap

14 06 2010

Recently while browsing WordPress I came across a nice blog, hesaidandshesaid,  that inspired this little blog-ette of my own. It brought up the topic of remakes not being as great as their classical counterparts and as I browsed the commentary I waxed nostalgic with the Gen X crowd who held dear their favorite movies and TV shows from decades of yore.

One notable mention was Quantum Leap one of my all time favorite sci-fi features of the late 80’s to early 90’s. Crib notes here for those born during this time period: it was pretty much a futuristic show about past life jumps sorta like the 2008 Jumper movie (but not really). Summarized version from the show’s monologue>> Dr. Sam Beckett, a quantum physicist had developed a project that allowed him to time travel to periods within his own lifetime. Essentially he would ‘leap’ into the host bodies of other people to help set events a right that had originally gone awry.

How this gem of a show inspired me to write this blog followed after a conversation with a close friend where I found myself lending my biased opinion in recommending a solution to his particular personal conundrum. [What a mouthful that was!] Afterwards I reflected on my own lil’ physical departures from reality. By throwing myself into the lives of others it has allowed me to step away from the doldrums that is my own life. It’s always easy to help correct the mistakes of the not-me’s, or ease the burden of tribulations held by friends. By rendering a sense of self appreciation in others you find worth in the non-doing of your own life. Well, I speak for myself here.

Summertime Cartoons

By Randy Bish found on Daryl Cagle's Political Cartoonist Index

I’m really no better than my own kid when it comes to finding something to do (sorry Matt, but you are a spoiled one). I’ve got no job, but ideas coming out the Wazoo. I’ve got ideas backed by a degree, but no motivation to put them into action. I’ve got inaction propped up by daytime TV, and an inordinate amount of ennui to last me until my financier’s patience runs out.

Occasionally my hosts become leapers and provide me with sage wisdom of their own “Do it”, “You should try it”, “Write the business plan”. Hmmm, “bleh” I say. Why do that when I am living vicariously through you? [Insert green-eyed monster here].

Truth is I’m bored outta ma mind!!

But, what to do? Once ennui takes over there’s no reason for me to move with deliberation towards a desired objective. If i could actually leap through time to other people and solve their dilemma’s I’d be more than willing to oblige.  You always have more balls when the decisions aren’t really your own. Hmm, I’d make a pretty good consultant then.

Don’t let this blog fool you, I’m not a tortured, racked soul with no aim forward who hasn’t yet realized that they are the original.  I’m just a lazy bum who’d like to take a Quantum Leap out of reality every now and again.  Care to be my hosts imaginary friends?

Wants vs. Needs

7 06 2010

I want a break, a break from doing the monotony of the nothing I’m currently not doing. I want independence, a sense of freedom from authoritative rules about what is ‘acceptable’. I want stability, a strong foundation to build a wholesome life on.

I want a good disposition to go thru daily struggles with a sense of appreciation for small blessings. I want financial security to create a worry free future for me & my dependents. I want to be healthy and in good shape to live the life I would like to live.

I want a comfortable house that can be called home as a respite from the rush of daily life. I want a relationship with someone who totally appreciates the me that is. I want a lot of wants…

I need a reality check to get my butt off this bed.

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Empowered Woman

1 06 2010

In the decade of  putting rings on it, keeping a poker face, and getting the rude boy up, it’s a wonder if young ladies today know the concept of holding principles and values. Mind you I’ve had my fair share of rump shaking in my youthful days and am not suggesting by any means that a little fun not be had. However, all things in moderation and it would be good to have a popular anthem of sorts that the younger generation could also hum along to.

I’ve posted the following Calypso song by the Trinidadian Singing Sandra(1987) and lyrics written out from replaying the video over and over, mostly because it’s just such a darn good listen and because I wanna be able to sing along 🙂 Disclaimer: words in brackets are unknown terms to me since I’m not from Trinidad and corrections are welcomed, unfortunately the video doesn’t play to completion of the entire song but I’ve filled in up to what I can remember.

Hope it puts a spring in some strong woman’s step today!

Die with My Dignity – Singing Sandra

You want to help to mind you family
You want to help your man financially
But nowadays it really very hard
To get a job as a girl in Trinidad

You looking out to find something to do
You meet a boss man who promise to help you
But when the man lay down the conditions
Nothing else but humiliation

They want to see your whole anatomy
They want to see whe’ your doctor never see
They want to do whe’ your husband never do
Still you ain’t no if the scamps will hire you
Well if is all this humiliation
To get a job these days as a woman
Brother …


They could keep they money
I go keep my Honey

Some of them dem pack up already
Den dem siddung waiting like (ma’ picky)
Using the power of their cash and position
Waiting to abuse and exploit any woman

To get the work you have to go to bed with he
Become he slave, second wife and deputy
And as a next woman come on de line
He start to tell you, “yuh ain’t good, yuh cyan wine”

They want to see you with a fancy fancy pose
They want to see how you look without you clothes
They want you cock up like a bloody acrobat
They wife at home they cyan ask she to do dat

So before I have to lick down somebody
Or Cuss and let the police come for me
Tell them …


Looking for work you might bounce up a fellow
Who might be looking quite handsome and macho
You tell yuhself you want to work with he
So you decide to try a ratchifee

But when you done is then you get to know
He wife leave he and gone long time ago
With all the cash he have
He is a failure
The man is nothing but a blinking soocooyah

They want to feel up yuh navel and you breast
They want to see if you a (lota) on your chest
The things they want to do you with they hand
Like if they searching to find the Promised Land

I am a woman who don’t make any skylark
Before I slap them and they die of heart attack
Tell them…


It have a lot o’ women just like me
Who might be not too well of financially
You need a job and you really need it bad
A man decide to help, you must be glad

But if you value yourself as a woman
You will demand respect from the vagabonds!